Letter to Our Children in Marriage
January 25, 2024
It is not undeniable that many marriages being contracted today are wobbly from the foundation, from the beginning.
From how young couples met, differences in class, education, taste, income, company of friends and parental upbringing, indigeneship and credal subscription or religion, each of the spouses may be poles apart and just managed to patch things up up till the day of the bell tolling.
Our own children, too, are not necessarily immune from this tragedy, and all we can do at this stage of giving them freedom by marrying them off to the choices or preferences they brought home for our endorsement is to pray for them and offer them guidance from our experiences in matrimony.
So, I have these gems, especially our daughters.
* Be patient with yourselves
* Be humble to your husbands
* Value his dreams and aspirations and support him in his convictions
* Give him his leadership rights
* Respect his judgement
* Value his family, never disrespecting or denigrating him in their presence
* Never give the impression that you’re the breadwinner
* Consult him in all your decisions you want to take and seek his buy-in or carry him along.
* Let the words of Allah always guide your thoughts and actions in marriage.
* Always drive towards the same goals and direction in life.
Know with certainty that your real friends are indeed Allah, His Apostle and the company of the truthful and the believers. Don’t isolate yourself from sincere faithfuls.
Find comfort in their company, helpful to them, and never arrogant towards them nor feel superior in their midst.
* Make Tilaawah a habit in your, Tahajjud a necessity, Taobah a constant index Tadhakir and Taalim as daily practice of your life
* Depend on Allah.
* Hasbunallaah, wa nihmaal wakeel
Abdulwarees Solanke is Deputy Director,/Head, Strategic Planning and Corporate Development Department Voice of Nigeria, Fellow, the Institute of Public Diplomacy and Management; 2007/2008 Commonwealth Broadcasting Association scholar in Public Policy at the Universiti Brunei Darussalam, B.Sc Mass Comm, (Lagos)MPP (Brunei Darussalaam).